TABS Review: Pure Chaos, Pure Joy — and Perfect for Kids

Every once in a while, a game comes along that’s less about winning and more about the experience. That’s exactly what Totally Accurate Battle Simulator (TABS) delivers — a wonderfully weird, endlessly entertaining sandbox that turns every battle into a hilarious physics experiment.

It’s one of those games that doesn’t take itself too seriously, and that’s exactly why it works so well — especially for parents and kids. We’ve spent hours laughing, testing strange army combinations, and cheering as woolly mammoths crash through enemy lines like bowling balls. It’s chaotic, it’s silly, and it’s one of the most unexpectedly joyful games we’ve played together.

---

What Is TABS?

TABS is a physics-based battle simulator. You’re given a budget and a roster of units — from club-wielding cavemen and samurai to musketeers, reapers, and even Zeus — and you assemble a team. Then you hit start and watch the chaos unfold as your army faces off against the enemy.

You don’t directly control the battle. You just place your units and watch them do their (very unpredictable) thing. That’s where most of the fun lies — watching a carefully planned strategy completely fall apart when a bard accidentally lures your knights off a cliff.

---

A Sandbox That Sparks Creativity

From the very beginning, my kids were hooked. TABS gives you space to experiment and learn, without any pressure to perform. What if we use five catapults and put a dragon behind them? Can a single cheerleader-powered knight take out a giant? What happens if we make a line of 50 peasants versus one mammoth?

And the best part? You get to find out, in glorious slow-mo chaos.

There’s a level of creative freedom here that encourages problem-solving in a really accessible way. My youngest doesn’t care about stats or optimal builds — he just wants to see what happens when he fills the screen with chickens. And that’s the magic of TABS: it meets you at your level, and it always rewards curiosity.

---

Couch Commentary: The Joy of Watching Together

One of the things I love most about playing TABS with my kids is how much talking it sparks. We plan our armies together, argue about what units to try, predict what might happen, and then react in real time as everything unravels in absurd ways.

We don’t even always play with the controller. Sometimes one of us is the commander placing units while the others shout suggestions. Other times we swap off after every level or failed attempt. It’s not a typical gameplay loop — it’s more like watching Saturday morning cartoons that you control.

---

Learning Through Laughter

For younger players, TABS is especially great because there’s no right or wrong way to play. There’s no complicated interface to master, no frustrating difficulty spikes, and no time pressure. Just trial, error, and experimentation.

And yet, they’re learning constantly. Cause and effect. Planning and adapting. Even some history and mythology — I’ve had to explain who Artemis was and what a hoplite did more than once. It’s learning disguised as chaos, and that’s the best kind.

---

Campaign Mode vs. Sandbox

• Campaign Mode gives you a set enemy formation and a limited budget. It’s essentially a puzzle — how do you beat the enemy using only what you’re given? These levels start easy but gradually get more complex. We often work through it as a team, taking turns after every win or loss.
• Sandbox Mode is pure freedom. Unlimited budget, any map, any units. This is where things get wild — where we built the great halfling pyramid and tested whether 100 skeletons could beat a single tank. No pressure, just fun.

---

A Game With Heart (and Wobble)

It’s important to say this: TABS is deliberately clunky. The ragdoll physics, the exaggerated animations, the floppy limbs — it’s all part of the design. But it’s also surprisingly beautiful in motion. There’s something oddly cinematic about a slow-motion shot of a samurai flying through the air toward a knight mid-swing.

And underneath the silliness, you can feel the love the developers poured into it. The unit designs, the sound effects, even the absurd little grunts and flops — it’s a game that knows exactly what it is and isn’t afraid to lean into it.

---

The Verdict From the Couch

After weeks of play, TABS has become one of our most frequently revisited games. It doesn’t demand a lot of time, but it gives so much back — in laughs, surprises, and that shared sense of discovery. Whether we’re working through the campaign or just creating ridiculous scenarios, it’s always time well spent together.

---

Looking for more family game ideas? Check out our top 5 Nintendo Switch games for families or read our guide on how to start gaming with your kids.

📸 Got a screenshot of your most ridiculous TABS battle? Drop it in the comments — we’d love to see it.